Sunday, August 10, 2014

Case of the Cryptic Thong

Things disappear on me all the time. Sometimes they reappear. But probably the strangest thing – or should I say, thong – that happened to me was the day when one of my nightshirts disappeared. I had bought a pink one and a blue one, but the blue one disappeared. Then one day two blue ones appeared and the pink one disappeared. 

That was the day I realized I had poltergeists living with me. I wrote about the experience once on Associated Content and it remained there during the days of Yahoo Voices, but like all of my content on that site, it too disappeared (not really – I have it in a file waiting to be published around Halloween – but I’m trying to build suspense in this blog, so please forgive me).

Anyway, one day I had one pink and two blue nightshirts. I’ll tell you about it around Halloween, if I remember to post it. Today, I would like to focus on THE THONG, not THE THING, a movie that really frightened me, but THE THONG.

The thing about the thong is this: While I was packing (an ongoing positive affirmation exercise to assure me that my house really will sell), I came across a thong. No big deal, right? Well, yes, and no. I don’t wear thongs. And I certainly don’t wear XL thongs. This one was plain white and it still had the original tags on it. When I changed the bedding in my guest room, I found it in the sheets – a brand new white thong!

How did it get there? I called everyone who ever slept in that room. It belonged to nobody. Perhaps I should have called the people who lived here seven years before I did. Maybe the thong dematerialized and then rematerialized in the ether that so obviously fills my head.

Whatever. I’m so used to things disappearing, reappearing, and just – POOF! – appearing that I have decided not to think much about it anymore. MaybeI’ll sell it on eBay. Should get a good price, don’t you think – since it just materialize out of thin air?

And finally, a note to Poltergeist, in case he or she is listening – in the future I would prefer money to thongs, please.

I apologize for the blurriness of the photo, by the way.

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